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Manifesting : 11.02.03 @ 8:13 am

It's weird. There are things I would say, blunt, sexual, however I don't because I know people who read this and I know they wouldn't want to hear what I have to say.
Even though this is my diary, and I'm inviting them in, leaving the door open incase they want to run away, I don't say it, don't say the lines that run through my mind, that I wrote in the shower after dragging myself out of bed.
Or maybe I will.

* I woke up this morning felling well and throughly fucked, despite lack of activity last night. That lazy, content warm coccoon feeling kept me under my covers while I wished that I really had been. Mindless and hard, the type where you wake up in the morning and your nipples are still stiff and sore, and your cunt is well satisfied.
Or maybe slow and drawn out, acted in awe, the mutual worship of each other's bodies.
It's been awhile.

* I've eaten so much bull shit bad for you stuff the past few days my body has finally said "That's enough!" and turned off any hunger drive at all. I'm normally starving in the morning but today it's just not there. How can it be, as the left overs from the past few days are still manifiesting itself onto my hips, ass, and thighs, like everything always does.
It was a bad weekend to contemplate a diet.
Less carbs. Less calories. No Starbucks food. No candy. No pizza. Lots of fruit. Soy, not milk. Healthy bars of chocolate covered soy goodness.
Bad morning to feel like I need to run six miles to beat all the excess fat off of me, as I'll be climbing into the car later today and driving to New York.
It'd just be so easy to turn bulimic.
But that never works out the way planned.

* I'm contemplating bringing my camera to New York with me. Fulfil some of the photography assignments coming up this quarter.
But. What if I start a roll and then need to move onto the other one and can't because I have a roll still in there?
But. What if you don't know the assignment as well as you thought you did?
But. The photographs rolling lazily through your head, like they do before every photo shoot, are unrealistic and not going to happen when you don't know a soul in the small lazy college city near the Fingerlakes.
But. But. But. Don't.

* I use gladrags, which are reusable earth-friendly pads. There's been two incidents regarding these pads lately, both of which are slightly amusing.
Anyway, how I deal with them, is once they've been soaking in the now-stained tupperware container in my bathroom for as long as it takes me to remember it, I throw them in the load with the rest of my clothes.
Because of this, the little cotton liners that add or take away padding, offten get wrapped up in my clothes, static-clinging as half the time I forget to use softener or those nifty Bounce sheets.
So I go to work after rushing out the door with just enough time to grab the things I need and put my shoes on in the car.
I open my apron to put it on and what would happen to be stuck to the front of my apron, momentarily, before it fell to the floor?
Yea. My cloth pad.
You just know that had one of my guy-coworkers been in the backroom, they would have asked what it was. And what do you say to that?

The other thing is when I get my clean laundry I do the stupid lazy thing and just dump it on the couch to be pawed over many mornings later, cursing the wrinkles and wondering why I use my couch as a bureau in the first place (so I'm a slob. Shoot me).
My cat has discovered these pads as an alternative to yarn and balls. If one falls on the floor, he'll just start bouncing it up in the air and play-fighting it as his claws get cought in the cotten.
On the one hand, this is all amusing to watch, but on the other, for Christ's sake cat that's my pad.

* Art 2 - A
Geosystems - A
Web Development - A
Political Science - B+?
AP Comparative Government - B
AP English Lit - B (Bombed the test I took Friday so...?)
Photography - A
As that stands, I have a 3.785 GPA for the quarter. Which brings my over all GPA up to 3.315.
Too bad that couldn't have happened last year, as it does me a fat lot of good my senior year.
Pesky Chemistry.

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