You can fall in love & fall out, but never stop loving them : Tuesday, Dec. 31, 2002 @ 1:49 am

Tis a lesson for you, though many of you either have already learned it or have no need to learn it.
I'm trying to type very quietly because Kate's asleep (snoring softly, btw) in my room, just a room over.
It did me good to see her again. Amanda predicted that I would have this flood of feelings when I saw her. I love you lots Mandas, but don't give up your day job (Subway!) to become a psychic.

What did I feel?
I love Kate. I probably always will. But... I'm not inlove, as I've stated before and the way she prattles on about Jacqui is just so cute... (it is too, that isnt me being sarcastic). Also, I don't want to jump her bones which is what I semi feared.
Some things that haven't changed however, is that she still smells like home. How do I explain this without insulting her? (for I suppose it could be taken in a semi insulting way) Because it is not meant in anyway to be insulting. When I was younger, and I used to hug my grandmother, I'd take in her scent, and that scent always made me feel like I was home. For some reason my grandmother's scent has since changed, but that's not the point. This scent is home. And Kate smells like that. It's really weird, yet comfy at the same time.
Another thing that hasn't changed is that I'm very comfortable with her. I have no real desire to sleep (as in sex) with her, but... I don't know. It's like it's so natural for me to be excessively cuddley with her that I have to hold back elsewise have the possibility that I might make her uncomfortable or something.
It's nice to have that knowledge that I won't fall in love with her all over again... it's very... assuring. Because I knew that I was over her, most definatly, I have been for awhile. But I still needed to see her. It just needed to be done.

Hehe I can imagine that she and Jacqui are terribly cute together, I wish I had the chance to take a double portrait of the two of them (yea, so I think through the camera. :-p). I'd like to one in color, prehaps, as well as black and white, considering they seem to have this whole hair thing going on that would be good to bring out.
Kate and I watched Gia. During which, instead of spending excessive time admiring the fact that Angelina Jolie is naked for a good part of the film, we disscussed camera angles. There's this one scene that I'd love to shoot, it's where Gia and Linda are modeling nude at the fence and they're looking at eachother through the fence... I'd love that shot. I'm jealous of anyone who got to take it.
Then we talked for a bit, went out to eat at TGI Friday's, wandered around the WorldGate Plaza thingy until the movie started, then watched Catch me if you Can, then came home and watched Run Lola Run. Of course, me being the night owl that I am, I was bouncy well after 12 and when she fell asleep around 12:30, I read until quarter of two. Then I couldn't sleep so here I am. I'm a firm beliver in if you can't sleep, don't lie in bed staring at the ceiling, go do something productive until you're actually tired.
I suppose you could call this productive.

I do hope my typing isn't waking her up. I'm afraid I'm a terribly noisy typer, but I suppose anyone who touch-types is.
Woah. All of the sudden my vision in my right eye got all blurry. Brought back my fear of my vision getting worse. I'll have to talk to an eye doctor soon about the posibilities of my contacts making things worse. Baaddd fear of mine. -shakes- Not even going there this late at night.

This guy IM's me we have a nice preliminary conversation, witty if you will. Picture? Yea, sure. What the hell. He's image is not my cup of tea, but then againm notice the pronoun in this sentence. So I send him the link to my image and he just stops talking.
How rude. I don't particularly care what someone looks like online, if all I'm looking for is conversation, which he claimed he was, why the hell does it matter? Conversation has jackshit to do about one's apperance.
Ah well. He's probably some serial rapist out to victimize... yea never mind you get the picture.

I should attempt to sleep, soon. Last night's four am adventure has finally caught up with me.
Either that or the effect of 1/4 a giant bag of skittles has worn off.
/A
mood: content, at peace.

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