Fucked Over : 02.06.03 @ 2:52 pm

("Fucked over, ass raped by a hot poker, and forgotten about" would mess up my archive page)

I'm so pissed right now that I could spit.
Or scream.
Or cry.
I'm currently feeling really fucked over right now and I have a bone or two to pick with the Fairfax County School board.

Those grades I listed in my last entry? Those were an average of my first quarter and my second quarter, which is of course what you do when getting your average for the semester.
For some reason, because I moved here during the middle of the semester (even though I completed the quarter at my old school and moved here just in time for the second one to start) my first quarter isn't on my transcript.

I worked hard for those grades back home. I wanted to keep them up because I knew the move down here would knock them all down a bit for the 2nd quarter. Needless to say, I'm pissed off that they're not on my transcript. WHY AREN'T THEY?! WHY THE FUCK AREN'T I GETTING CREDIT FOR THE WORK I DID?!

No. Pissed off doesn't cover it. I feel so completely fucked over by the fucking school board right now that I'm feeling very violent. I feel like I could literally tear someone apart with my hands or whatever sharp object I can find.
Of course, I've never acted on impulses like that and I'm not a violent person.
To other people, at least. Myself is a different story.

I'm going to the guidance counselor tomorrow (if there's school). If she can't do anything I am so going to the School Board and try to be calm and composed instead of doing what I want to do which is scream at them and ask them WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO DOING THIS TO SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL?

I can't get into the college I want to with less then a fucking 3.0, and these grades set me below the 3.0 line for the second semester, and my goal of getting a 3.4 for the junior year is impossible if the grades aren't put on my transcript.

So of course, the good mood that has been keeping me sane the past two weeks has been shot half a dozen times to hell. Every vein inside of me is burning with anger and stress and add to that the fact that I've probably had seven hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. All ambition has seemingly left me. Well, it's been seeping out slowly since I moved here, but now there's just nothing left. Fuck photography, thin negatives, pictures that never come out right and god damned dust. Fuck possible relationships - I'm so not stable enough for one right now. Fuck writing. Fuck History. Fuck school. Fuck college.

I just don't care. I don't want this life. I didn't ask for it and I've probably done more harm then good. Never was a good thing to waste oxygen and food.

/A

P.S. I met a Girl today, she's in my Philosophy class. But considering I'm 97.9% sure she's straight, fuck her too.

Though, unfortunately not literally.

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