Christmas Queer : 12.26.03 @ 12:43 am

Any Christmas where we are not fighting and screaming and yelling and bickering while we're opening the gifts is a good one in my book.
My parents really liked the digital camera I bought them - they think I spent too much - and Dad keeps on making excuses why he didn't think of that.
The only truly hideous gift was a bag from my father that he bought in Arizona as his "Arizona trip" gift. It had African Animal print on it and was made in China, not Arizona or Africa.

Afterwards, the house just seemed so small. Every TV was in use - trying out new TV sets, new DVDs, Matt's new Xbox... or just watching bad Christmas movies.
I wanted out.

So Allison came over and picked me up - god I hope I don't get shit for her labret piercing when my parents wake up in the morning.
Allison is gay as well, with short hair and sort of butch, but she has breasts and doesn't really dress like a guy... Anyway, we went to the movies and the guy at the popcorn stand called her over - "Sir may I help you?"
She grins from where she's standing - "You've got that wrong, I'm female."
He flushes. "Oh - well then, m'am and sir" - meaning me.
She walks towards him to order her Mt. Dew and Milk Duds or whatever candy it was that she had.
"Got it wrong again boy, she's female too."
He turns the brightest shade of red. Fumbling, apologizing.

But I looked in the mirror in the bathroom after the movie, waiting for Allison to take a piss.
I looked in the mirror and really couldn't blame him for thinking I was a guy. Hell, I - who am rather experienced with such things - would second guess the idea that I might be female.
I don't think it's quite as bad when my face isn't still swollen from the surgery, but wow, the person I saw in the mirror was near genderless.

You can't tell if I have breasts. I'm wearing a button up over shirt - L.L. Bean (yea yea, but it's really comfortable). A baggy shirt, men's cargo pants, and doc martens boots. My hair is long, shaggy, and in my face... and I just don't really look female. Or male, but the key is that I don't look female.
I'm an androgynous mass without any prominent gender traits and for once, instead of comforting me, it scares me.

And I'm not completely sure why.

/A

P.S. God, Christmas is over and I haven't done any of my homework, or college essays, or cleaning... Kate comes the 31st, everything must be done before then... I'm such a slacker.

Materialism - the high lights:
kerplooey tee � the hooded sweatshirt � chicago (london cast) � far side desk calendar � sunflower tee � doc marten classics � $125 in checks � a watch � uelsmann: process and perception � various items

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