Amazonian Roar : 01.28.03 @ 10:59 pm

Its funny how you loose time early in the morning. Like I could swear that when my alarm went off at 6:36 I did not fall back asleep, I instead went to the bathroom only to discover that the pipes have frozen and once again there is no water. I groggily set about to using bottled water to flatten the unruly bits of hair and not five minutes past when a hurried mother bangs on the bathroom door and yells at me. Supposedly it's 6:20, five minutes before I have to be out the door and walking to my bus stop. Fat chance of that happening. I'm dressed and ready by 6:30 though not clean and that icky greasy feeling will follow me all day. Despite my Algebra II midterm, I managed to pull off a C for the quarter (woo). I'm starting to wonder about this phenomenon where I suddenly get really, really sleepy as soon as I'm given an Algebra test. It's very strange.
In the ten minutes or so between classes, I got to Psych early to discover the class before us was watching Requiem for a Dream, the NC-17 rated one. The teacher had done the very stupid thing of not viewing it before showing it in class. Needless to say, she was very surprised when the scene came on that involved two naked girls with a double dildo up their asses, surrounded by guys cheering them on. Of course, I'm borrowing the movie from a friend so I could see more of this movie. It looked... interesting, to say the least (haha spellcheck doesn't recognize the word "dildo").

I've had some deep and meaningful things to say throughout the day and I kept on meaning to write them down � to write them on here later. How much of a loser-ish thing is that?! Needless to say, I did not do so and therefore have no deep and meaningful thoughts for tonight. Perhaps I'll come up with some as this entry goes on.

Tomorrow night I am baby-sitting for one of Mrs. O's kids, and will hopefully be able to drive myself there without killing myself or running over anything in her driveway. That'd be embarrassing.
Another up-incoming event is the possibility that I might take pictures before the "fashion show" on the 13th. If I do do this, the pictures will be used in a hair catalogue for the "hair salon and spa, PK International", whatever that means. Really, do you think I'd be the one to be even remotely involved in fashion? I'd love to do that as a living � take those pictures for magazines of famous people and stuff � not like catalogues, but real magazines. There's three problems with that � one being is that in fashion, the photography aspect is a male-dominated industry.
Two is that � well look at me. I'm a sketchy size 14/16 (but I wear guy's pants, so a 36x30 to baggily cloth my hips and ass), and like I just say, I wear guy's pants, as well as a grubby T-shirt and hoodie. That isn't going to change much. Can you really picture someone like that working in the fashion industry? Don't try too hard, you'll hurt yourself.
The third problem is that I wouldn't be able to help myself � I'd make some snide remark about how the models are too god damned scrawny and that there's nothing of substance to photograph and someone should get me a real woman to photograph.
Maybe I'll just photograph the so called plus-sized models. I'll fit right in, maybe pick up some hot chicks in the process.
Where was I going with that? Oh, yes so on the 13th, if they still need me to do it, I will be taking pictures of a bunch of preppy anorexic cheerleaders with too much make up and smelly hair sprayed hair.

The plus side of spending all this time with femmey straight girls, is that I'm starting to find femmes more attractive then I once thought. That's not to say that a good looking andro-butch lesbian won't cause a straight shot to my gut, that's just saying that I'm broadening my aspects a little. Of course I haven't dated a femme yet, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now and for always, all women are inherently beautiful. I don't care if the woman's face resembles a horse's ass, I'm sure I would find something beautiful about them. Women, while not perfect, are a work of art. It's almost enough for me to believe in God � how else would such creatures grace this earth?
I should have been born a guy. Besides the whole penis thing, life would have been a lot easier in the girl's department - I'd have a lot more women open to appreciation.

I hate it when guys talk about how hard it is to be a guy. It makes me want to smack them, for while I'm not a rabid feminist or militant lesbian, no one knows hard until not only do they bleed profusely for three to seven days a month from their groin. No one knows hard (not even other females) until they've been in labor for more then a day trying to push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole that putting three fingers in it will stretch it.
I fully believe that if men had the periods, they would have liberal leave whenever their cramps got too bad, and that our race just wouldn't continue because men wouldn't be able to take the pain of child bearing.
That's not to say that men don't have to deal with things � I mean, they have a penis, for that itself we should feel sorry for them (to an extent). They have to deal when someone like me writes an entry dissing their genitalia and talking about how much better females are. They also have to deal with us when we're hormonal and PMS'n, when we cry and scream for no apparent reason, and when we ask the dreaded question - "Do I look fat in this? I mean really, how do you answer that question? Do we really expect them to say "Yes, honey, that makes you look like a bleached wale."
Yet when they say "No, honey, you look beautiful" we respond with something stupid like "Oh so I'm not beautiful all the time?!"

Re-reading that, I suppose I didn't really say much. Oops. My main train of thought?
Women are beautiful creatures, even when they are crying, bitching, and asking stupid questions. Women are strong, they are the very center of every society even if the society itself doesn't know it. Women inspire art, inspire all things beautiful. Sometimes, when I'm feeling pagan, the very sun seems to rises because of the beauty of women.

So I suppose this is how I celebrate being a woman, by appreciating the beauty of other women, by worshiping their curves, their intellect, their ability to talk about nothing and mean everything at the same time.
When you think about it that way, how can one not love women? Even if you're a straight female, how can you not love the fact that you're a woman and that you're beautiful because of that? That almost all the great works of art were inspired by you? How can you not love the fact that your entire society, your entire race, is dependent upon you?

To the woman finishing this: Doesn't that just give you such a rush? Such a feeling of love for you and your kind? I hope it makes you want to go outside and yelp your wild Amazon yelp that's in you. You are woman. May your roar live up to your grandmother's.

To the (straight) men finishing this: Go out and do something silly and romantic for your woman today. Or, if you don't have one � make sure to compliment a woman today. Little things (that can't be taken as harassment, remember this is the twenty-first century). Have you lost weight? Your hair looks really nice (that is, if they've changed it recently, otherwise they'll just retreat to the dreaded bathroom and make fun about how men don't notice haircuts and such until a month after they happened), etc. Acknowledge the fact that without us � there would be no you. And really, even if there could be a you without us, would you want to live in a world devoid of women?

I wonder, does this count as a meaningful entry?
/A
music: Classical Playlist
mood: ROAR!

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