One Hundred and Seventeen Things : 03.06.03 @ 9:44 pm

1.) I'm not a big fan of my name and I'm not even sure why.

2.) My mother was in labor for 22 hours with me. Finally the damned French Canadian doctors realized she needed a c-section. Yea. Try being in labor for 22 hours when its just not going to come out that hole...

3.) When I was two and a half, I distinctly remember having a bath with my brother (who was maybe eight months old) and trying to pull his penis off. I just didn't think it belonged there, I guess.

4.) Mum wasn't too happy with me. Neither was Matt, from his screams.

5.) When I was five I went to a private Catholic elementary school that I would have continued to go to had we not moved after that year.

6.) That same year, I told my teacher (a nun) that I was going to marry a girl.

7.) I was told I couldn't. Except in Hawaii, because they're heathens there.

8.) When I moved to Houlton, I had a choice between the Catholic school there and the public school.

9.) I choose the public school solely because they had a better playground.

10.) I was punched twice in elementary school.

11.) Both times I got a bloody nose.

12.) This guy who later grew up to be a pot head/druggie/loser and I shared a kiss in second grade in the soccor field.

13.) I wasn't impressed.

14.) I had a crush on this one guy, Jon, for the longest time. He "dated" (think fifth grade) a skank though. Bad taste in chicks.

15.) I always thought Jon's younger sister was cuter anyway.

16.) I was on student council in sixth grade.

17.) I never went because I was more interested in hanging out with a dude named Adam H. who was from Africa.

18.) His parents were missionaries.

19.) He was my best friend until he moved away.

20.) I blocked out the rest of middle school and junior high.

21.) I have journals from then though. They're painful to read. Lonely. Depressed. Suicidal, the like.

22.) In 8th and 9th grade I did the Wicca thing.

23.) From then on I was known as the freaky witch.

24.) People would come up to me and ask me if it was true I was a witch.

25.) An old friend, M and I held a full moon ceremony in the fields behind my school.

26.) I remember sleeping over at M's and even though she wasn't that attractive, I wanted to kiss her very badly.

27.) This confused me a lot.

28.) I didn't think about it again until the end of 9th grade.

29.) I thought I was bisexual.

30.) The summer after 9th grade I went to Italy.

31.) The girl I shared a room with every time was hot.

32.) The guy I shared a bed with once or two times wasn't hot.

33.) No we did not have sex.

34.) I probably would have though.

35.) The drinking age in Italy is 14. I was 15.

36.) I wasn't impressed with Venice.

37.) I was a CIT that summer too.

38.) I didn't fit in with the other CITs.

39.) Had a helluva crush on one of the counselors though. God she was hot.

40.) Hot Counselor and I exchanged letters for awhile afterwards.

31.) She bought me my first rainbow patch & sticker.

32.) I came out as a lesbian to my friends that August.

33.) I got another crush on a friend of mine.

34.) I don't think she knew at the time that I wanted to jump her bones.

35.) She probably does now though, if she read this.

36.) I started cutting that year, in October.

37.) I joined One Act even though I didn't really want to.

38.) I met my first love, Kate, at the One Act competion.

39.) We flirted over a top hat.

40.) I couldn't stop grinning for days months afterwards.

41.) I asked her out the day after I met her.

42.) We shared our first kiss behind the mall in Presque Isle, Maine.

43.) It wasn't a very good kiss seeing neither of us knew what we were doing. But it was sweet.

44.) We got better at that kissing thing.

45.) I still think there are better things to do with your mouth.

46.) I came out to my parents after Kate and I started going out.

47.) Kate and I spent a lot of time in each other's room studying geometry.

48.) I worked at Camp that summer (02).

49.) She worked at a different camp. In a different state.

50.) Going five months without seeing each other (that summer, then she went off to college) put a strain on our relationship.

51.) We mutually broke up a few days before our seven month anniversary.

52.) We didn't argue... it just ended. And we cried.

53.) I had Ryan over that night and we watched chick flicks together.

54.) Kate was with someone else a week or so after we broke up.

55.) That made me angry, hurt and made it harder for me to stay friends with her.

56.) We managed though. We're great friends now and her girlfriend is a sweetie.

57.) Backtracking, I knew Ryan when he was four/five and I was six.

58.) I thought he was a pest.

59.) In my eighth grade we started walking home together.

60.) He was a naive nerd with a bible shoved up his ass.

61.) Now he wants to be on broadway, obsesses about Madonna, Showtunes and wants have a hot guy shoved up his ass.

62.) Ryan's one of my best friends and I miss him lots.

63.) I don't miss many other people from Houlton.

64.) I was generally an outcast in Jr. High and High School.

65.) I was the school lesbian.

66.) Dad got a job in DC.

67.) We moved to Washington DC in late October.

68.) Actually, its the suburbs.

69.) I dislike the suburbs.

70.) I work at Starbucks and I like my job, so far.

71.) I want to be either a photographer, history teacher/prof, or lawyer.

72.) I forgot to mention Colby. Colby is my sister by love.

73.) That means she's not my real sister, but I consider her my sister.

74.) She lives in MA and I miss her a lot.

75.) I've known her since we were nine.

76.) I hate driving.

77.) It doesn't help that I have a fear of cars. Car crashes, in particular.

78.) I'm serious. I hate cars.

79.) Heights and I also don't get along very well.

80.) I barely passed French 2.

81.) Needless to say, je ne parle pas francis.

82.) I hate anything that is Math related.

83.) I'd like to study Buddhism some more.

84.) But for now, I'm an Agnostic/Humanist.

85.) I love Ani Difranco & Ok Go.

86.) My parents have said no to me going to Ani Difranco concerts three times.

87.) My father is a Conservative Catholic Republican who works for the fed'l goverment.

88.) I am a Liberal Lesbian Queer Agnostic/Humanist Moderate who works at Starbucks.

89.) We don't get along.

90.) My Mum and I get along sometimes.

91.) My sister and I can not coexist.

92.) Sometimes it seems like my brother doesn't exist.

93.) I guess he's just so quiet we just forget he's there.

94.) My brother has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and mild Autism.

95.) He's not expected to live past his mid/early twenties.

96.) Make a Wish Foundation sent us to Disney World a few years ago, as Matt's wish.

97.) I am not attractive.

98.) I'm not ugly either though.

99.) I look better when I wear contacts and light make up.

100.) I hardly ever do though.

101.) I normally wear baggy guys pants, a tee shirt with a political saying, and a ratty old black hoodie that's on its last leg.

102.) I could stand to loose twenty pounds.

103.) I have near flat feet.

104.) and asthma.

105.) Besides being a lesbian and a woman, both of those would disqualify me for the draft/army.

106.) Not that I would join anyway.

107.) I talk/ramble too much.

108.) I'm not really a lesbian.

109.) I identify as Queer.

110.) I'm not bisexual, so calling myself Queer leaves the field more open.

111.) I love women. A lot.

112.) I could be in an emotional relationship with a man. I think. I haven't tried it though.

113.) I'd have to have sex in the dark because I'd laugh too hard at the sight of a penis.

114.) I think laughing would ruin the moment.

115.) Not that dildos aren't just as silly.

116.) But strap on dildos come with soft curves, pussy, and boobies.

117.) This makes up for it.

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