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Lingering : 11.15.03 @ 11:15 pm

My cat is licking himself furiously.
Then again, I suppose I would too if I could bend over that way.

* I don�t know if I gave her the link to this diary. I probably did, but I�m going to bet that she lost it and just hope I�m right.
She called around five last night, spontaneous as usual.
Wanna play?
It�s the first thing she says and I�m not sure if I should take that with a double meaning or not. Knowing her, I do, just to be on the - safe isn�t quite the word - safe side. I shower and try to make myself look as presentable as a dyke with no fashion sense can.

... My cat is attacking the box of kindling, of sticks. He bats at a particularly springy one and then acts completely surprised when it springs back, and returns with an attack even more violent. The stick returns the action and finally, my cat tires of being beaten by a stick. ... She shows up... we go to Starbucks, to CVS to pick up a pack of cigarettes. Then we head over to Sean�s work to say hi, teasing each other on the way.
We don�t stay long... somehow, for lack of anything better to do, we end up driving around Northern Virginia with John, taking detours and getting only slightly lost.
I tease. She can�t drive, she�s horny after only a month of celibacy, and half the people we see that night she�s at least made out with, if not fucked. I bite her shoulder occasionally.

She teases. She pokes my thigh at stop lights. She tickles my knees (yes, my knees are ticklish. Not much of my body isn�t). She tickles me in general... bites me...

Around 10:30 we find ourselves at her old elementary school, sitting on the playground�s metal bridge. It�s cold, not just the metal, but the air around us and soon I�m leaning against her, her neck resting on my shoulder, her face resting upside down against my chest.
We�re supposed to meet Sean and his girlfriend at the diner at quarter of eleven. Twenty of rolls around and we both say,
We should go.
We don�t. We stay there, and it�s not until almost five of that we get up, and only because my cell phone fell out of my pocket and onto the cedar chips below.
Then we get up, and go meet up with them.
The twenty odd minutes before I had to leave to make curfew was spent with her playing with my hand under the table...

Then, we�re sitting in my driveway. I don�t want to get out, go back in the house...
We talk, breaking for the occasional not-quite-awkward silence.. I don�t know who started it first, but we were alternately playing with each other�s necks. That sound�s weird, but honest to god, I think it has more of an effect on me at least then kissing. We were just teasing each other... and then she stopped. Something in her voice was different, but I can�t put my finger on what.
I think you should go in now, she says.

I climb out of the car. The sky is clearer now then it was a half an hour ago at the playground, but it�s not half as warm out.

* I woke up early this morning to go into DC for extra credit, with the intent to take pictures and meet up with Allison around eleven.
I finished my roll by ten forty. The assignment is documentary photography, and I don�t think I covered that really, but I was interested/entertained by the roll.
I would focus on one of the museums or monuments on The Mall. Then, I�d wait until someone walked or ran by, and take the picture of them without them even knowing that it had been taken.
Yes, this is legal. Maybe a bit unethical, but legal because it�s in a public place and I�m not publishing them.
There was this old woman, who looked so lost. Not just in the physical way, but she just looked so mentally confused, lost, and lonely. I followed her for a bit, not stalking, just walking in the same direction that she did.
I wish I could have gotten closer to catch the insecurity that radiated off of her. I wish I could have walked up to her and asked if I could take her portrait instead of sneaking it in when she wasn�t looking.
I don�t think any on that roll is going to be any good, but it was fun while it lasted.

Allison didn�t show up.
I got called sir countless times today, and only once did someone correct himself.
I gave directions three times, even though I spent a good chunk of my time wandering around - not quite lost, but not quite caring that I couldn�t remember the exact road Penn Camera was on (E Street)...

I went home early. I was tired and lonely, and I had accomplished what I had planned to.

I thought about her periodically throughout the day. This weird feeling for her, that wasn�t there before, is it just the loneliness? Is it just lust? Or is it something else?
Funny, logic contradicts all of those options.

* At work, I learn that the day I asked off for back in October, I did not get, while people who asked for the day off after I did, did get the day off.
But I just couldn�t get worked up enough to care, or bother trying to switch. Yes, I want to go to the GSA Masque in Falls Church. Yes, I already bought my mask. But... I don�t know. I guess I�m just too mellow today.

My raise went through, by the way. I now get fifteen cents more on each dollar.

Amanda M. called me while I was at work.
She�s getting married.
One of my best friends, the former flaming homosexual, at the age of nineteen (twenty in May) is getting married to a man.
I�m happy for her, it�s just weird to look back on the Amanda I knew back in Houlton and picture her married to a guy.
I already have their wedding gift picked out.

* Is it just me or has there been a significant decrease in the amount of people who read my diary?
Maybe this is a good thing.

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