Rip Van Winkle : 04.22.03 @ 10:46 pm

The violence is still there, wrapping itself around my mind like a warm winter blanket in summer time.
Not violence at others, no, never that.
Violence towards myself. How else do you explain being in the middle of a perfectly happy mood and then staring down at your bare feet poking out behind the straps of your sandals and wondering ... I wonder how much blood those veins would produce if I slit them?

That can't be healthy.

I'm not sure why I'm not doing my extensive homework. It's strange. I care, yet I don't. I wish I could just sleep for days and days and wake up a new person.
I've been sleeping a lot lately. I slept on the bus to school, I slept during the twenty minutes before class and all through first period. I woke up just long enough to walk to third period (we have odd and even days, today was 1, 3, 5 and 7) and promptly fall back asleep.
I managed to stay awake all through 5th and 7th, but as soon as I was back on the bus I slept again.

Ah, lethargy. If I was not chronically lethargic, I might still have that 3.68 GPA.

Not that it matters anymore.

I want to go to a school that will challenge me. I want to go to a school where I can actually learn something.
But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'm going to go to college and just... crack.
It's a gamble really. I could excel. Or I could end up a college drop out with a psychiatric bill.

/A

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