Sleepiness, Etc. : 04.07.03 @ 11:04 pm

I've some how managed to stay awake all day on only two hours of sleep (and two soy chai lattes), though my sleepiness has caused stupid driving mistakes (such as running a red light), constant uncontrollable chatter, lack of tact in one instance, and a rather funny incident involving my first soy chai.

This morning I drove to school for the first time and left early so I could get a drink at Starbucks. I pay for my drink, chat with my boss for a bit, then leave.
Without my drink.
I'm halfway down my road when all of the sudden I look at my mug holder and go � "Dude, where's my Chai?" - then proceeded to make a quasi illegal turn and go back to get my chai. My boss was very amused.

I managed to drive to school with little incidents besides my normal bad driving. School was rather uneventful. I discovered that according to my calculations, I should end my junior year with a 3.4 for my high school career, which is two points higher then I expected it to be. It helps that I have a B+ (92/93, 3.5) in AP English and I think a B or B+ in AP US History. I get the whole point five added (so the 3.5 in English is really a 4.0), so I'm happy with that.
I'm also happy that my term paper (that I complained about in earlier entries) on Virginia Woolf was lost. Why does this make me so happy? Because I only had a rough draft saved on my computer. It wasn't my fault that the paper was lost, so she had to "imagine" how my paper would be had it been the final copy. I got a B on my "imagined" paper. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

I picked Jenny up from her band practice and promptly ran a red light (oops). I swear, my sister thought she was going to die. It was kind of funny. I've got to stop being such a stupid driver. I'm aware that I do stupid things when I drive, and I'm working on it, but in a way... I like it. In my warped, twisted mind, I get a thrill out of driving stupid. Maybe its some of those leftover suicidal tendencies.
On the flip side of this whole driving thing, I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up every time I drive down the road. Progress I tell you!

There's this guy... that I uh know (not going to tell you how, or where)... and I just can't help it. I'm not really attracted to him... (am I?) its just that I always feel compelled to cuddle with him. Give him a kiss on the cheek, a hug... my friends in life will know what I mean and how I am at times.
Anyway. This guy starred in a dream last night. It was amusing in a way, because in my dream, we were teasing each other (ie fooling around) and we were so close to actually doing it, but every time we'd get closer, all I could think about was how it'd be so much better if he had curves and tits to play with. In my dream, it just felt completely unnatural for me to get any more intimate with him.

I truly think this is how it'd be in life, too. The very idea of sleeping with a guy... it doesn't repulse me in the least (an orgasm is an orgasm regardless of the giver)... it just doesn't really appeal either. As a friend/little more, I could cuddle with a guy. I could tease, kiss, hell, I could have casual sex with a guy. But it'd never feel right. It'd never replace the feeling of a soft woman's skin against mine, or beautiful curves to slide my hands over...

Hmm. I love women so much...

I'm tweaking this javascript code that irritates the hell out of me simply because I just can't get it right. It's a cool code though and I hope to get it up within the next few days on my etc. page.

Speaking of Java, I think I'm going to drop Web Development (or AP Art History?) and replace it with Computer Science � learning how to program computers and getting a Math Credit in the process. I can learn all of Web Development on my own, as I have been. Computer Science doesn't sound too painful, and learning programing should be fun (adjusts dorky glasses).

I'd write more � really, I would � but there's the little issue of Algebra homework left undone and my two hours of sleep running low. I'm slowing down for a crash landing...
Good night.

/A

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