Sort Of. : 01.26.03 @ 7:17 pm

Well, I finished my AP US History (sort of) and got two sentences done for English. I feel accomplished.
Well. At least I can say I did something. Sort of.

I have this pile of books and videos that I've listed on (swappingtons) (fiercelingua reffered you!) sitting by my computer desk. My cat has taken it upon himself to push some of these books aside and curl up in the middle of all of them. So if you order something from me and there's red-orange hair tucked inside the pages, its because of him.
Aw. He's so cute... -rubs his neck-

I don't know if I told you yet or not, but Friday after school I developed my contact sheet for that reflections roll (tomorrow I'll hopefully get some prints done) and there's one or two prints that I'm hoping come out well. They look very cool on the contact sheet, I promise to share them tomorrow (or sometime in the near future) when I make prints of them.

Yes, so I wasn't particularly productive today, though I did get a few things done. I showered (random thought: my ass cheeks are dry and itchy! Need lotion!). I released some built up tension (ha!). I transferred my old diary on teenopendiary to disk, and did those things mentioned above. Yea. That's just about it. Could have been more productive, but I really do work better at night. Like in the next hour or so I'll probably pick up one of my other assignments and actually finish it, because I have the damnest time doing anything productive before seven or eight o clock at night.
When I was putting my old diary on disk, I went through it and got rid of HTML shit (took longer then you'd think) and ended up reading some older entries. There was this one entry, that Kate and I wrote together, that made me go "awww". But "awww" in the "oh, got to love first love" way. You can actually read that (here). I can almost feel the complete giddiness and elation that I felt when I wrote that entry. And number twenty five? It was/is so true.

You know, I'd like to get some fish or something. Get a nice little fish bowl, set it up in my room, get a goldfish. Then of course there's the whole thing where I have a cat who is always very interested in anything that moves and looks like food (apparently, my foot looks like food as well). There's also the issue of cleaning out the tank. I'm a very lazy person and on top of that I'm a procrastinator as well, so the poor fishie would probably die either way (Not to mention that fishies don't exactly have the longest life span straight from the store anyway). So no fishie.

Why does it matter if we die today, tomorrow, or twenty years from now?
If I died today, would I be happy with how my life was lived? Would I go knowing that I made some positive difference in this shit hole of the universe?
Does that even really matter? To make a difference or not?
Human beings are strange creatures. We are a black hole of neediness. We want and want and want and take and take and take and never spit anything back out.
Those of us who do spit a few bones out every once in awhile are ridiculed and taunted until we're left battered and bruised.

We, as a race will slowly but surely destroy ourselves. We will eat away at our resources and eventually our entire social structure will collapse on itself until we regress to the age of scavengers.
Our decedents will forget us, or they will hate us for destroying their world.

What a bleak future we have to look forward too.
The sad thing is, its too late to stop it. It was too late to stop it when the first white man stepped foot on the virgin soils of North America....

/A
mood: thoughtful.
music: "Tyler Says" - Fight Club Remix

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