Please Sir? A Job? : Thursday, Jan. 09, 2003 @ 3:36 pm

I need a job. Badly. Being a bum with a computer just isn't cutting it anymore. Perhaps tomorrow I'll go about to every shopping center and every mall within a ten minute drive, go into every store and ask if they're hiring. Sounds like a plan. I don't just need the money, I need something to do with my time. Though, not right now. Right now I need to do my various AP homework. Like read three books over the weekend.
I'm thinking that I might ask this girl out to dinner and a movie (Chicago) this Saturday. Perhaps. Maybe. I don't know... my only real issue is that she's a femme. Which believe me, I can look past because all women are beautiful, and I don't discriminate based on the whole femme/butch roles. It just takes me longer to be comfortable with someone who's femme because it makes me feel inadequate as a woman. Which is funny because most of the time I don't even consider myself female or any gender. I'm just me. Really feminine women make me feel like I need to improve, but not necessarily in the positive way. Like I should wear make up, diet, shave, pluck, wax, giggle, enjoy bad romantic comedies (instead of usual historical/action/thriller/gore genre), wear low rise jeans and shop in the women's section...
And I don't want that. I don't want to feel compelled to change the way I am. Hell. Let's just hope that (a) she says yes (b) she doesn't think I'm a completely unattractive dog (c) if she likes me and we end up in some form of a relationship, that she's not disgusted by how fucking butch I am at times (-burp-).
Bah. I hate this whole dating thing. I don't know what to do I've never been on a date before with someone who I wasn't already "with". Can you even call it a date?
What the hell are you doing, Amy? You haven't even asked her yet.

/A
mood: nerved.
music: Not a Pretty Girl - Ani Difranco

+Online+
The entire site, but especially this lol.

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