Family Bullshit : Sunday, Dec. 15, 2002 @ 7:15 pm

My family goes ahead and eats supper without me.
They say they called me up, but the door is shut and my headphones are on and they know this.
I go upstairs and they're settling down to watch a "family night" video, and I get yelled at for not being at supper.
There is no place for me to sit. There never is, and its not just when I'm late. I'm always the one that sits off by myself. At first it wasn't by choice. Then, any time I'd try to join in and be part of the family I'd have Dad tell me I ruined all the fun.
So I stopped bothering.
The only nonmeat food is junk food and an Uncle Ben's. I cook the Uncle Ben's rice bowl but its disgusting and cold because I had to let it sit while I tried to get the DVD player to work, all while they were yelling at me somehow blaming me for it not working.
Mum yells at me from the other room to not eat any christmas cookies. I already did, two. Nothing else to eat and the Uncle Bens went in the trash (really nasty tasting).
Why is it that it's only my family that makes me feel like a fat useless pig?
Then they yell at me some more when I reply in anyway that might be seen as disrespectful.
When I finally get the DVD player to work, Dad tells me that I can now move my fat ass and go sit elsewhere.

And they wonder why I was in therepy.

I can't wait until I don't have to live with them. Until I can live on my own without having to deal with their fucking bull shit. Until I don't feel left out in my own fucking house.
No one should ever have three children.
One is almost always left out.
I suppose I like that way.
Sometimes.

/A

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